La Musique

Monday, October 31, 2005
11:32 PM

IS OVER~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
O V E R O V E R O V E R O V E R....... muhahahahaa...... yes....
exam over. sayonara Bukit batok Mac.. finally no more facing of the macs.. >.<
no more burgers..
no more fries.. no more.... lalalala..... so happi ^^
no more listening to my diskman on jay & FIR..
no more scribbing of notes till my fingers go numb..
no more waking up in the wee morning then mug mug for notes....
no more hugging my notes and sleep in mrt...
no more coffee no more tea... no more!!!

an overview of the exam papers
mental health - dead at mcqs.. i was juz guessing out...... *pengz*
A&E + onco - 20 marks for saq juz 1 question -_-'''
Peri op + medsurg - Topical Therapy~?! wat's tat!! nv study tat.. hahaa.. juz fake my way thru.. 5 marks *poof*

anyway... if i get a below average for tis year paper i also noe i deserve lah.. cuz i wasnt paying much attention.. no mood to study hahahaa........juz hope can pass and i think can pass bah :)

anyway juz came back not long ago from esplanade - thai express with the girls :)
had pineapple rice.. hmmmm not bad can try :) then chit chat there.... as always i think we are the noisy.. haha or maybe is me..... watever lah....

muz relax and chill :)

keep thinking today is friday.. cuz feel so friday... haha....

then... walk about and sat at the river side there.. chit chat from a lonly person who sat opposite us.. from sucidal intention.. any plans.. hhahaa.. till as usual r/s stories here n there.... we seem nt bored abt it ah.....

hahaa..... maybe we only can use that to relate to one another.... maybe. i tink only tis topic everyone can be so "excited" hahaa... but dun need everytime talk abt it.. will sian de.. but then also interesting to noe.... see.... so contraindicating..

chatted then listen to live band performing....to.. going to ah pek ice cream and buy..... hahaa... thought i could get a free ice cream from him.. cuz also got "pek" mah.. sian dun have.. :(

gonna enjoy myself before coming monday 1 mth of attachment start le... bedpans,urinal,diapers,straning of back,dialects,cases,medications,skills..etc..etc..

but anticipating to go to OT & A&E.... wohoooooo!!~!~

gonna rest early le :) tmr.. self-proclaimed animation day.. gonna watch all the animes that i have missed...........

lalalala.... animes wan sui!!!






*one have to learn how to let go before knowing how to accept*
*+ve reinforcement*

Sunday, October 30, 2005
6:52 PM

im in love with this song.. if u realise.. this is actually bleach ED song... actually i like Life by Yui the current ED but.. i cant find the translated lyrics.. able to find tell me allright?? so now.. enjoy Life is a boat by Rei Fu.

it also coincident that somehow or rather my motto "when the boat reaches e dock everything will be allright"

e translated version of the life is a boat:

Nobody knows who I really am
I never felt this empty before
And if I ever need someone to come along
Who's gonna comfort me and keep me strong

We are all rowing the boat of fate
The waves keep on comin' and we can't escape
But if we ever get lost on our way
The waves would guide you thru another day

Taking deep breathes
As if I were transparent
I thought I was in the dark,
butI was only blindfolded

Offer a prayer
A new day is
the ends
Of a vividly shining sea

Nobody knows who I really
they just don't give a damn
But if I ever need someone to come
know you would follow me, and keep me strong

People's hearts change
And you'll stop wanting to slip away
The moon is in a new cycle
So bring the boat along

And every time I see your face,
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
And soon I can see the shore

Oh, I can see the shore
When will I.... can see the shore?

I want you to know who I really am
I never thought I'd feel this way towards you
And if you ever need someone to come along
I will follow you, and keep you strong

The journey still goes
on quiet days
The moon is in a new cycle
Illuminating the boat

Offer a
new day is waiting
Til the ends
Of a vividly shining sea

And every time I see your face,
The oceans heave up to my heart
You make me wanna strain at the oars,
And soon I can see the shore

Row the boat of destiny
And even thoughWave after wave attacks us
This is a wonderful journey
They're all wonderful journies

Friday, October 28, 2005
8:05 PM

last paper on monday. let's jiayou everyone ^^


7:56 PM

A total Lift off from jamie's blog.. interesting story..


Remember the story about the little girl who exchanged her plastic pearl necklace for real ones with her Daddy?

Here's what happened next...

For some time that she wore the necklace, the string got worn out and snapped.

This time, Daddy gave her something more special that she could never imagined it to be- a pair of 3rd hand sneakers with shoelaces. On the first sight, she was skeptical about its life left but since Daddy gave it to her, it must be of much purpose!

Time passed, the little girl absolutely adored it very much. It began to become an evident part of her life, precious and valuable. It stepped on mud, running from rain & for buses, rolling on the beaches, through the many seasons of changes in the little girl's life.

The little girl spent most of her tertiary life in that pair of sneakers. She sought high and low for the least abusive shoe cleaner in the market to wipe that wonderful sneakers into perfection, each time she wore... kept it safe in a shoebox from shoe thieves, far away from glares of the people who walked past her corridor.

Soon, the little girl was all grown up and became a big girl.

Four months later, as the big girl was climbing up a slope when she tripped and rolled down. Her clothes were torn by the dead twigs and she was bleeding from the elbows & kneecaps. Yet without thinking, she quickly took off her shoes to see if it was scratched or grazed. It was dirtied by specks of soil..

THANK GOD!

Then one day the big girl fell ill and had to be rushed to SGH. Looking around the shoe rack, what she saw was only was worn out slippers, wet sandals, twisted heels and smelly socks. There in the quiet corner sat her beloved sneakers, sparkling from the shoe cleaner she previously polished.

Almost two years had passed.On one particular day, being stung by the swarm of exams bugs, she absent-mindedly left her precious sneakers outside. The big girl remembered only when it started pouring cats & dogs.

Alas! She got the shock of her life!

By the time she went out to retrieve them, the pretty shoelaces were broken into two by some stupid prankster.

Sadly, she sat by the steps and wept. No one saw or no one heard that silent whims that drifted in the cool air.

She then asked Daddy, "Why did it happen? Two faithful years wasnt enough! Why now?"

Suddenly she stood up and went to search her bedroom for something. The big girl took out a thin needle & some thread and started to sew the shoelaces together.

Big drops of tears rolled down her cheeks as she tried to sew them back. Fingers were pricked & bled many times, entangled threads were everywhere...

For days she attempted to convince herself to be optimistic although it seemed to be heading for the impossible. But her loved ones told her to look up and try again.

And she did.

Sew, re-sew, unpicked, sew, re-sew, unpicked,
sew, re-sew, unpicked, sew, re-sew, unpicked

it went on..




Finally in frustration, she gave up.




Moral of the story?

There isnt any because it isnt end of the story yet.

Did she gave up the love for her treasured sneakers or did she give up trying to sew the shoelaces back? Will she be able to get over that gone-for-good sneaker? Will the sneakers be ever worn by her again or will it be passed onto 4th, 5th hands?

Did that sneakers ever know how important it was to that once upon a time little girl who gave up her pearls for a brand new adventure? Will it then, catch another owner's eyes before it is even healed?

Saying I love you is not the words I want to hear from you. It's not that I want you not to say, but if you only knew how easy it would be to show me how you feel. More than words is all you have to do to make it real then you wouldn't have to say that you love me.

Cos I'd already know.

would you do if my heart was torn in two? More than words to show you feel that your love for me is real. What would you say if I took those words away? Then you couldn't make things new Just by saying I love you.Now I've tried to talk to you and make you understand, all you have to do is close your eyes and just reach out your hands and touch me. Hold me close don't ever let me go. More than words is all I ever needed you to show then you wouldn't have to say that you love me.

Cos I'd already know.

Just by saying I love you.

Thursday, October 27, 2005
7:33 PM

today story:

i learn that 野猪 (ye zhu) is pronouce as 野熊 (ye xiong)..

Right eve?? heeee.....





alot of things to blog.. but too tired mind filled with atropine.. OKT3 blar blar..... sigh....
i know from e past that nv trust a book by its cover.. till yesterday it make me remembered more.

*never judge a book by its cover*

Wednesday, October 26, 2005
7:47 PM

death at e bloody mcqs of mental health..... *sunk there*

saw the saqs.. very happy cuz most questions i noe how to do then.... see the mcqs 1st 2 page.. 10 questions.. i stare blankly.... very hard sia...

then do my saqs first.. then i start.. at questions 60 instead.. hahaha.... avoidance of question 1.. hahaha....

haiyo.... so sad... thought mcqs simpler..... Deadly killer lah..

now pray hope can pass :)

next stop to mug A&E and Onco.......

Jiayou ^^

Monday, October 24, 2005
9:31 PM

ahh...... im falling asleep.... oh dear... now trying to make myself feel awake.. with my coffee next to me.. hope can perk me up....

today as usual camp at usual area.... then got lots of BUGs ah....... >.< O level Buggers.. ahaha... bz bugging beside me.. kaoz... talk till so loud... from 9am same timing as me....then bug non stop... pengz they go there to chit chat sia....

somemore they dun feel no breathe after bugging so long..... -_-'''

and they dun feel "strange" that me n eve keep looking at them when they bug loudly.... sigh.... then they also cant see suronding them are those ppl who need to STUDY -_-''''

sigh..... wanna tape their mouth leh.... actually wanna go tell them and tell them shhhh.. but hor... like very bad later if they attitude with me how...... haiz.... not library mah... so hor.... sianz...... i pray ah tmr better dun let me those bugs....

i shall bring insecticide tmr......

hahaha...

-ve symptoms
+ve symptoms
SSRI
TCA
Cpz
Lagatil
TNPR
milieu therapy
CBT
Assesmeent
Family
impact hospitilation

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...... mental health.. gonna bonkers.. Boing Boing...

realise sth.... My A&E.... OMG OMG...... better start hahaha....... >.<

Im Getting Fatter at the rate of camping of Mac for 1 week.. Wohooooooooo...... hahahaa

siao liao ahhhh.....

give me some Anti mania Drugs........ oh cheeze wat's the drug name...... ahhhhhhhhhh

Run to notes

Sunday, October 23, 2005
10:19 PM

study and mugging at home..

i hope exams come faster.. sigh but i also hope dun want so soon.. cuz haven study finish.. coffee season..sleepless nite.. moodless day.....

hahah yesterday at least go ah su to chat with me online... at least i'll be drop dead... :)

haha i understand GTC lah.. ^^ see see look look...

anyway.. juz got jay's latest song - ye qu & its mv from danny,long time nv contact tution friend.. like his song....

very jay as usual.. in mv very cool...

more rap.. more i love the tune & his lyrics....


曲名：夜曲(11月的蕭邦)
曲：周杰倫
詞：方文山

一群嗜血的螞蟻 被腐肉所吸引 我面無表情 看孤獨的風景
失去妳 愛恨開始分明 失去妳 還有什麼事好關心
當鴿子不再象徵和平 我終於被提醒 廣場上餵食的是禿鷹
我用漂亮的押韻 形容被掠奪一空的愛情

啊 烏雲開始遮蔽 夜色不乾淨 公園裡 葬禮的回音 在漫天飛行
送妳的 白色玫瑰 在純黑的環境凋零 烏鴉在樹枝上詭異的很安靜
靜靜聽 我黑色的大衣 想溫暖妳 日漸冰冷的回憶 走過的 走過的 生命
啊 四周瀰漫霧氣 我在空曠的墓地 老去後還愛妳

為妳彈奏蕭邦的夜曲 紀念我死去的愛情
跟夜風一樣的聲音 心碎的很好聽
手在鍵盤敲很輕 我給的思念很小心
妳埋葬的地方叫幽冥

為妳彈奏蕭邦的夜曲 紀念我死去的愛情
而我為妳隱姓埋名 在月光下彈琴
對妳心跳的感應 還是如此溫熱親近
懷念妳那鮮紅的唇印

那些斷翅的蜻蜓 散落在這森林 而我的眼睛 沒有絲毫同情
失去妳 淚水混濁不清 失去妳 我連笑容都有陰影
風在長滿青苔的屋頂 嘲笑我的傷心 像一口沒有水的枯井
我用淒美的字型 描繪後悔莫及的那愛情

為妳彈奏蕭邦的夜曲 紀念我死去的愛情
跟夜風一樣的聲音 心碎的很好聽
手在鍵盤敲很輕 我給的思念很小心
妳埋葬的地方叫幽冥

為妳彈奏蕭邦的夜曲 紀念我死去的愛情
而我為妳隱姓埋名 在月光下彈琴
對妳心跳的感應 還是如此溫熱親近
懷念妳那鮮紅的唇印

a song dedicate to a love one that die.. the mv very nice... if u want can ask from me.. if u see my online.. hahaha..... will not be online tat freq.. :)









你的一通电话把我昨天的焦虑和不安都拿走。。

Saturday, October 22, 2005
8:32 PM

came back from dinner with jothi.. long time nv meet her le.. suppose to be at orchard.. but turns out at cck..

went to long john to eat.. sat there chit chatted for a while.. updated each other...

then listened to her talking her r/s..

then now back home... suddenly feel so lonly.. hahaha... because.. my msn ppl everyone is bz.. no one is alive.. no one i could talk to is there..

haha.. went to msg him.. but still waiting for his reply.. >.<

think i really am lonly for now. haha..

anyone alive..

morning till late noon study @ mac then was nicely "chase" out by e manager cuz having party there.... -_-''' then went to BK.. was at north pole... haha.. go back home hands were still cold... >.<

numbness...

ah..... lonliness is killing me.. haha... anime i also dun want to watch Blood +.. too bloody le.. later spolit my mood..

moodless.down.lonly..

ahhhhhhh.............

someone talk to me please.

going to be bonkers soon.

maybe i study too much.

or not.

hahahaha.

gonna go find things to kill bordom..

Friday, October 21, 2005
9:04 PM

finally... told almost 2 hrs to type finish the below article which i find very interesting.. to those "eat potato" err.. i duno how to translate.. so dun ask me to translate.. >.< anyway.. is when i read the I weekly magazine i saw this article.. hence share it with u guys...

is also involve the conversation i had with my sisters in school today with hwee sean.. then also proceed to pizza hut.. hahaah.. the only conversation that keeps us going...

talk alot.. certain issues in life.. etc etc...

then went back home.. got to noe some news from a friend of mine.. decided not to enclose here.. but love has its trust.. if tat person decide to do such a despicable low thing.. i can only say im dispise tis kind of person to the bottom of no where...

is good that one dun get too hopeful for things u hope for.. for it might juz backfire and u will be in no where. at least when u fall. u will not fall that hurtful.

anyway go and prepare kopi or watever.. for those potato fellows :) get dictionary hahaha... very long article...

因了解 1
从前年级小，不明白什么叫“因了解而分开”。两个人相爱，要的不就是深厚的了解吗？既然了解彼此，为什么还是必须分开？长大后，经过浮浮沉沉，开始有点领悟当中的“因”和“而”两个字。

恋爱那一瞬间的电光石火，没有理性的存在。在那阶段，很多时候都是“认识”，并非“了解”。认识对方的过去现在，童年往事，猪朋狗友。那一刻也许吸收了对那个人的全盘认识，但还未必算了解。

于是，我们把这种吸收认识的能力，误以为了解。了解，是必须经过时间的试炼。慢慢的，真的了解时，两个人就发现，你怎么这副德性？其实，这刻才是最珍贵的。呵呵，这个珍贵，就在于一一终于了解。

如果在了解之后，问题浮出台面时，你们发现，彼此的真相始终不让你们动摇，或许，就能升华到“因了解而化解”的境界。可惜，很多人的爱情，都在这个关键的分水岭流血身亡。

老实说，这是最艰难的一环。能冲破这个关口，其实已经慢慢更接近爱。爱，不是在你快乐才算爱。也不是你方便时能做的事才叫爱。

我家的小白狗很粘我，有时因工作分身乏术，我忍不住觉得亏欠和负担。然后我想。我口口声声说爱它，原来是假的。如果能在我最不方便时还拔时间陪它，才真的是爱。如果在空闲时，不费吹灰之力带它散步。也只因为我方便，算什么爱？

不动一毛一毫，不耗一思一念，在自已能力许可才表现的“爱”，其实虚有其表。慢慢长大，我就体会到，两人因为越不同，越不方便，越能考验爱。如果能应为了解后，跨越那个巨大得可怕的不同，还愿意相爱，实在很叫人佩服。

因为不方便，所以需要更多包容，爱就是包容对方跟自己不同。用尽所能改变对方，不如去订做一个合意的洋娃娃。当初你喜欢这个人，就是因为他的某种特质，改变他来符合自己，那还剩下什么？

不过，呵呵，不要混杂了盲目的忍气吞声为“爱”。整天愿意给老公毒打的女人，以为总有一天能感化他，那个不叫爱，叫“哀”。

但，有些“因了解而化解”，最后的结局也是分开。这是我长大以来所能体会关于爱的最高境界，呵呵，下回分解。

因了解 2
相爱是很美的。分手时，有些变怨偶，有些搞情杀。有些变朋友，看的开的就成知己，钻牛角尖的就回归泛泛之交。

人，只要一谈到感情就有执著。尤其是爱情，学习放下是很艰巨的学问。

如果真的缘分至此，不如换个角度来看。

相爱当然是缘分，但缘分带领我们的终点，未必是我们以为的地方。

相爱的终点未必是结婚，结婚的终点有时也未必是终老。

因为我们被灌输的思想，总在“必然”里面打转。

既然相爱，必然要结婚。既然结婚，必然要长相厮守。

必然，是一个一厢情愿的执著。担，我的意思不是说，扔掉必然，随便离合。

执著之所以困扰我们，因为我们放大了必然，忘掉了自然。

自然是什么？就是不强求必然。感情必然努力经营，担时间到了，也不用在强求。怎么不强求？跳出来看你的感情蓝图。

有时候，这个人跟你相爱，他只是你感情蓝图的一个关键人物，却不是“那个人”。他磨炼你，折腾你或呵护你，但他的存在和出现，只是在你的蓝图，为你下一个人生阶段做好准备。可是，我们一执著，就无法跳出来看到他这个神奇的作用。怨恨感慨无奈痛苦，全被放大，淹没了彼此积极的作用。

下一个阶段，就是另一个男人或女人吗？呵呵，你看，我们又掉进“必然”的陷井。下一个阶段，可能是让你的人格更健全，人生更扩大。

跳出来的人，会慢慢恍悟自己原来有一幅感情蓝图。这个蓝图，不是为了跟谁结婚生子，而是为了自己内在的升华。只有内在不断升华，才越懂得怎么爱人，那你就修炼成健全的人。所以，如果相爱的你们觉得很幸福，这得感谢对方之前的情人。

如果没有那些人给的魔鬼训练，你的他，不会进化到现在你喜欢的模样。当然，也因为对方有慧根，才不会陷入钻牛角尖，得以升华。

面临分离，当然悲伤。可是当你们了解到，大家的缘分，也许只属于彼此感情蓝图里的导师益友，那还有什么遗憾呢？

跳出来看，人就能放下。

因了解而分开，放开对方，让彼此带着互相给予的人格成长，去下一个人生的阶段。这种爱，比死抱大腿不放的不甘心，更美。

呵呵，你还多了一个知己，少一个仇人。真划算。



*thanks eve for e short notes n e rochers... :) thanks gal.. u too jiayou for e exams.. *

Wednesday, October 19, 2005
9:28 PM

@&*^@&^#*@&^!#

Red eye now... painful.discomfort.. >.<

place eyemol le.. better than juz now.. but still discomfort.. gonna rest my eye.. sigh....

Monday, October 17, 2005
10:49 PM

Happy Birthday Sushi (nt me)

juz came back not long ago having dinner with sushi aka brush. hahah his birthday today.. Hey happy 23rd birthday.. Old liao hor.. hahaha

before went to school went down to town and get his gift.. reached around 12..but then the stupid shop never open.. so thought heeren have.. then went also dun have.. lazy to walk to far east.. so went walk walk.. than around 1230 went back to cine again.. then nv open.. been walking in and out.. then cuz not alot of ppl around ma.. those give flyers de keep seeing me go up and down hahhahaa...

then still not open.. hungry le went to kfc eat tat OR fillet burger.. than relax abit.. then around 1 pm went up the shop... still haven open.. then sian liao.. have to go to school later late for class.. than have to drag the timing meeting him hahaha... so last min...

then in school.. everyone so high today.. mich keep laughing all the way.. ah pengz.. hahah....

then after school immediate went off with fun.. than went to cine again to that store.. was still thinking will e store open anot.. or maybe place e sign.. - off to dinner- wah sure cry lor....

then went up.. phew is open... then look look... ah..... dun have the one that i want to buy for him... !@#$@# have to buy for him the another one lor.. initally wanted to buy Freedom for him de.. than dun have.. have to resort to buy Justice..

i still think freedom nicer.. haha.. anyway sushi see this.. srry ah.. think u next time go buy freedom hor.. cuz freedom goes with justice mah ^^

than thought they got wrapping service.. but nope they dun have -_-'''' oh my god.. then immed. went and buy wrapper.. than realise.. Shit i dun have Scrotch Tape or staple with me.... ahhhh.... then went around cine and Heeren.. No stationary store!?! wat the *toot* ahhh pengz. then.. cuz already late to meet him le.. so i juz wrap e box with the wrapper.. and then juz try to hold on the corner.. juz fold in inward.. hahaha.....

met him @ cityhall than went to marina square and eat cafe cartel again.. ahaha... sat juz went leh.. then saw e same waitress again.. haha... then ordered the chicken Cutlet.. while he ordered the pork chop cuz i told him quite big portion mah..... worth it lor.

then i saw my cutlet.. i stunt he shocked.. haha.. cuz is super XXXXL size Chicken.. too bad nv bring my cam.. then cant take tat.... hahaha... then most funny thing is his sis met him and pass him his present.. then i didnt noe it was his sis.. then wah both of them still can act lor..
"how's the food today" etc then sushi still can.. yah is nice.. telling me his sis is a manager of cafe cartel.. wah i took his words leh... i thought so mah.. then in the end.. yah is his sis..

wah bth.... !@&!^&*@^#(! anyway see him so poor thing dun bully him.. later he say i bully him more jia lat.. haha.. bullying a cripple person.. awwww....

hahah then cant stop laughing when he trying to run but cant run to avoid his friends.... hahaha... imagine u are crippled and u run fast.. tat's funny.. i mean.. as in not "real" disabled.. like very bad wor >.<

yah.. juz hope he likes e gift and then.. a tiring day.... yawnz........

Sunday, October 16, 2005
4:23 PM

err.. thx for e comments..

errr...err..... apparently i think i type too serious in my blog liao hor.. haha.. cuz..

the main thing nt because im so F up with e family strict anot.. haha im so get used to it..

is juz tat sometimes ppl around u juz dun understand ur shoe.. then add in water all these..

of cuz i can choose to ignore and walk.. but haha my character is abit.. kpo here n there mah...

so hor.. i still will like say lah..

then hor... tat's why tat entry is appearing..

hahaha...

well... watever it is.. yesterday is e past le hor.. dun need to rank it up liao hor.. hahaha....

i juz love e cookies smell


10:56 AM

穿上洋装看着手表 时间快到心砰砰地跳 和你的第一次约会来临了
金色的阳光洒满人行道 换了新唇膏把头发弄好 要你看到我的好

喜欢看你走路充满自信 说话时候你的专注眼神 温柔的表情笑容里的天真
我相信 找不到有比你更好的人 你心里理想情人是几分 是否也会有我的份

好想知道你的100分 会给怎样的人 亲爱的你不要再陌生 增加我戏份
我想问 亲爱的你把感情升等 朋友变成情人
可不可以 告诉我标准 不要让我一直等

听着那时间滴答的走 对街的你在点头 好像一个梦 渐渐 走到我前头

Saturday, October 15, 2005
11:07 PM

juz came back from dinner with buddies.. was suppose to be a happy thing.. which was a enjoyable dinner. till in mrt.. where my over reactive sensitivity ruin every one's mood.

especially mine.

from e journey of mrt till now back home had bathe.. feeling miserably down. sad. n feel like crying. utterly down.

was discussing on when to go have another outing etc.. going holiday.. overseas.. etc..

becuz i am a cinderlla.. i have to come home asap. usually before 11pm. even before the actual cinderlla... i cant stay over nite.. till now i did nt have a chalet before. i duno how isit to feel.

but i did have camps and overseas for sri lanka. at least at that moment im happy.

yes. i noe im 19. thx for informing me that. and i also noe im 20 next year. and yes my parents still in control of me. and yes. did i say they still called my brother who is 6 years older than me. a working adult now. still occasionally if he didnt come home early. they will called him and asked "oi.. where are u now??"

yes my family is strict.

yes. everything that considerably late or going overnite have to ask my dad. and yes most prob. he will say no.

and im sorry for juz now flaring my temper. becuz is nt like i never try to convince him that.. im going out with a bunch of gd friends dun worry abt me.. quarrel and cried.. still insisting No.

even if he say yes.. it will be a "if u want to go.. u go.. i cant say anything to u now.." those attitude.. would u go??

is like.. i so get used of that attitude from u guys that.. "ai yah.. u are 20 years old next year.. more freedom.. etc etc.." "ai yah.. no matter what u cannot overnite de lah" "asked her for opinion for wat.. she nt staying overnite" "ai yah.. she will leave early de lah.. so no point asking"

i simply cant take tat attitude.. yes im sensitive. reactive. watever u name it... sigh.. i duno lah..

u think i dun want to overnite?
u think i dun want to go overseas?
u think i actually want to spoilt u guys mood for everytime being the earliest one to go?
u think i want u guys to consider abt me when everytime planning to go out?
u think i want all of these?

i dun want it to happen nor i want it to be me.

and yes.. im still gonna stick to my before 12 cinderalle. cuz that's how im suppose to gain e trust n freedom by my parents slowly slowly...

next time juz go ahead and plan those schedules after my timing.. i can juz go off and take mrt alone. is nt as if u guys go partying or enjoying till late.. and i'll be saying "HymPh~ u guys pang sehz me" "Hymph, Heartless ppl.. forget abt me"

i'll be still be myself. though im always hoping for all these.. but i believe that my parents have their reasons.

but i also noe that.. they have been slowly giving me my freedom extending my timing longer and longer..

juz a matter of time. but duno when nia.

hahahaa.......

*was hoping from someone's sms. think juz forget abt it." sigh. think too much recently. juz hope a simple regards from u is juz so hard.


12:59 AM

cant wait for marina dinner wif buddies ^^

oh dear.. lots of thought running thru my mind.. as usual thinking process haha.. but fear not.. as nt much of a depressing stuffs but rather.. past memories

anyway..

today chatted with friends.. life's complicated.. tink is how u percieve it to be complicating hence u think is complicated...

there are crisis in life.. there are lots of things in life there u never encounter hence u duno how ppl feel. u duno what's e feeling. u dun even have e shoe to be there..still talk abt "place urself in other ppl shoe"

or those things like "i understand" "it will be allright"

ah.. im so getting !@#*^@(*$ by this kind of comments. unless u really had encounted before. unless u really feel it urself. otherwise tis are juz entertaining words.

tat's why i prefer "i duno" or simply remain silence and let them do the talking instead.. haha

actually is kind of unrelated wat im typing but.... watever..

recently encounted some friends of mine having some problems in life... end of life issue was there and had to slowly talk to him.. for now he still around.. as in alive..

i noe i couldnt help much. i duno everything abt his problem. i duno how to start. i cant even say "hey i noe ur problem.. why not do tis do tis.. " i cant say tat.. i juz mainly listen to him ranting off. while i juz express my views and thoughts... sigh..

why human have to resort to death when things dun go their way? when everything not as smooth as the past? when troubles and problems stick on to u.. cant solve. death is e simplist of all??

i duno. i really duno.

maybe e thought of that wasnt in my mind once. becuz ive been in tons of shits n crisis which i cant be bother to talk nor write abt it.. becuz is e past. thinking back of it can juz make me cry once more..

awwww.. saddening stories in life.

haha.. dun see me so happily cheerfully jumping about.. ive thru my deepest blackest in life... haha.. sound so errie... haha.. maybe there's somemore in e pathway before me.. hahah.. who noes.. is nt like someone controling how many crisis one person is going to face.. haha..

so sometimes when ppl is like.. a small thing that go whine it.. my mind will be like.. "ahh get a life.." i mean.. i guess is up to individual bah... if unable to cope and choose death.. i think to me.. nt worth..

ur death.. still need to spend money on funeral. still parents will cry.. etc etc.. then later spend the past year of life juz wasted.... arent we suppose to "enjoy our life"

though there are lots of hills, moutains..forest.. watever u name it.. but i always believe one can always overcome it.. *with time allow* cannot cope.. ask for help.. cope with it.. cry like me.. but still get on with life.. hahahaha....

*glass is always half-full*

haha keep typing till time is 1am ++ le.. tmr start camping at Mac.. gonna be F.A.T wohoooooo MAC MAC MAC....

*oh yah.. if u r going to ask me abt wat happen in past.. i will nt say. for now i guess. cuz i still duno how to cope with it.. things still happning now and then.. for what i can say.. im still adjusting it :)* is nt tat simple to get thru and take it as nth happen.

Wednesday, October 12, 2005
6:27 PM




hohoho... juz came back from lido.. after watching the movie.. 40 years old virgin.. i muz say really really funny... but... but... really M18 hahaha...

and to those err.. very conservative kind.. closed minded ppl.. dun watch bah.. guess u will eeeee... ewwwwww..... >.< all the way

i think guys preety like this movie much.. cuz there's no guys who sat beside my friend keep laughing until their lungs wanna come out sia... so loud.. but i can understand.. cuz is really funny..

all the terms.. and e action.. hahaha

i think guys will much "appreciate" it than girls haha...

than there are parts that bare chested woman.. lots of sexual graphics.. nearly a 2 hr flims of er sextual contents... hahaha...

but i think there's always some underlying story behind the movie.. be comforable with yourself.who you are. even u are a virgin. is allright :)

guess is tat lah... hahaha...

but after e movie.. my bladder distended le.... rush to find toilet.. then Q up till -.-'''

was describing to mich that i feel like a cat.. placing my claw on to those white board.. those screecching sound.. those agony.. haha.. then have to listen to those toilet flushing sound....

my bladder cannot tahan ah......

phew lucky when my bladder gonna burst.. finally my turn.... hahaha......

*phew*

Monday, October 10, 2005
11:19 PM

Gavin Degraw - Belief

Belief
Makes things real
Makes things feel
Feel alright
Belief
Makes things true
Things like you
You and I
Tonight, you arrested my mind
When you came to my defense
With a knife
In the shape of your mouth
In the form of your body
With the wrath of a god
Oh, you stood by me
Belief
Builds from scratch
Doesn't have to relax
It doesn't need space
Long live the queen and I'll be the king
In the collar of grace
Tonight, you arrested my mind
When you came to my defense
With a knife
In the shape of your mouth
In the form of your body
With the wrath of a god
Oh, you stood by me
Belief
I'm going to yell it from the rooftops
I'll wear a sign on my chest
That's the least I can do
Tonight, you arrested my mind
When you came to my defense
With a knife
In the shape of your mouth
In the form of your body
With the wrath of a god
Oh, you stood by me
Tonight, you arrested my mind
When you came to my defense
With a knife
In the shape of your mouth
In the form of your body
With the wrath of a god
Oh, you stood by me
And I'll stand by my
Belief


7:57 PM

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLD MAN

ahah today is my bro's bday.. 25th old man.. tsk tsk.. still looks like he was 20 -.-'''

tats how my bro and i look.. we do not ever look e same as our age..

*pengz*

haha get what i bought him as a bday present.. - eyemo.. hohoho.. why eye mo?? cuz he stare at com too much...

hahaha... later tired eye mah.....

see i so gd right...

haha.. actually thought of buying others stuffs.. but recent budget tight till i pengz....

anyway... 25th bday.. hope i can attend his wedding soon.. hahahaha...... ^^


12:03 AM

juz came back from angeline's 21st celebration.. went to her house with mich & fun.. Ping & eve didnt join us.. so in e first place was quite disappointed.. cuz i have to take back the 1 hr jouney back home.... -_-'''

than went to her house.. initally was very quiet.. e atmosphere was awakward.. terribly atmosphere....

so quiet.. i think can hear that mosquito sound ahhaa... (jking lah)

than waited for xue ying to come to her house.. than later on.. at least atmosphere is better hahaa....

than celebrate her bday..

than eat cakes.. eat foods.. eat alot of stuffs... than chit chatted again.. more trauma.. more news.. haha...

than later in e evening.. went to e park.. walk walk around.. bring e cousin cycle around..... than more news to share... haha....

than went back her house and proceed to parkway parade... than realised.. is terribly BIG.. -.-'''

chim..

"im a little girl.. in a big big shopping center"

haha..... than went off alone around 9pm.. cuz.. takes about 1hr ride home mah.. than forgotten which bus to bedok mrt station.. than called tc n sms brush abt it.. brush also cannot give me a definate ans.. tsk tsk..

than coincidence tc is near bedok to book in.. so took e same train with him.. while he dropped at boon lay where i dropped at jE..

haha funny ride back lor.. bth with the dark forces.. haha..

juz find this lyrics.. nice.. by BAD - wo de cuo

作词:杨明学 作曲:Minski

飞机已离开机场
你选择了前往你的方向
不再迷惘
忘了我们爱的过往
忘了我给你的伤
学会坚强

从前的我不懂你牺牲多大
为我失去朋友不讲
还放弃了所有梦想
觉得没怎样
不会将心比心去想
让你慢慢慢慢失去了希望

能不能够再给我机会好好的爱你
我会仔细的聆听
你对我说的一言一语
我会学会去控制脾气不让你伤心
对你好好的去珍惜
请你相信我的心还是爱你

我想再重来一次
回到过去弥补你的伤
没那种事
怎么做才能够停止
后悔竟伤你如此
不再放肆

为何总到失去才懂的难过
当你在我身边的时候
总是为我默默守候
都是为我的错
错过这难得的拥有
就让你爱我的心慢慢溜走

能不能够再给我机会好好的爱你
我会仔细的聆听
你对我说的一言一语
我会学会去控制脾气不让你伤心
对你好好的去珍惜
请你相信我的心还是爱你

Saturday, October 08, 2005
8:04 PM

yesterday after school.. (went for 1hr of tutorial nia.. -.-) went and met ah su & ah ming at orchard to buy some baby gift's for our dear sheeli who juz gave birth to a sweet girl alice xin hui ^^

met them at orchard surprise to see tat ming ah.. getting darker and darker.. so black tsk tsk.. then ate at yoshionoya.. tried out e new bento set.. eh.. is either i hungry tat day.. i think not alot sia..

haha.. so better stick to beef bowl better ^^

then chit chat alot.. when was the last time we had a gethering like tat.. almost 1 year le.. for su at least we still got keep in contact.. but also roughly 6mths nv meet..

wah.... think next time we met will be 6 years le...

chit chat until no one business till we realised the time is running cuz we haven buy e gifts for her.. than rush off to taka bought her a set of those baby stuffs...

then off to meet her @ clementi.. :)

then reached her house.. get to hug little alice.. we still can joke.. 6 years later if we meet again.. her daughter will call us "Auntie & uncle" omg.. tat's so freaking old lor...

ahh but i get used le.. even my niece & newphews calling me "biao yi" wah liew.. so old.. call me jie jie can anot.. bth leh

im not tat old~ im still have e look of secondary sch.. haha.. baby face mah

then at her house.. keep taking pics.. haha.. than didnt realise she got a dog.. call bonnie.. so cute.. than i tink freak out by ah su.. haha.. ah su take photo with tat dog.. tat dog keep moving.. struggle to leave..

then she keep shouting "Bonnie... Noooooooooooo... Bonnie come back.... Nooooooo bonnie..." than keep dragging e dog back to her...

like some psycho kia.. wanna kidnap e dog & chop e dog.. or hug until the dog die hahaha....

haha.. than my turn to take with the dog.. e dog keep moving.. than super Itchy lor. keep laughing...

than e dog finally escape from e hand.. than went back to sheeli's mother.. than like got emotionaly hurt sia.. went and hide in a corner... think gt scare by su "Noooo BOnnie.. NOooooooooooo" hahaha.....

cant stop laughing now when thinking of it....

then lun came from school.. e first thing he came he say.. i can hear u guys from 11th floor sia.. where we actually at 9th floor. and he follow e laughter to the place.. haha so loud meh..

than he came.. more pics taking... than see him very poor thing.. make me think of either he suck by vampire or he like those drug addict or he duno how many freaky days nv sleep.... pale skin + dark eye circle.... hahaha.. so skinny also.. Bth.. ah...

like any moment gonna *poof* on e bed and ZZzzzzZzzzzzz

than take a lot of pics. haha.. Pics uploaded to yahoo pics le ^^

then chit chat there from.. guess who's e next to get married.. to when's our next meeting wif e rest.. to.. how long we already met each other.. than count count.. nearly a 13 years...

*gasp*

13 years..

haha.... from pri sch to sec sch to now... omg....

13 years~~~ haha...

maybe next time we meet is another 6 years... haha.....

then went off back home.. ah su to meet her friends for dinner.. than ming & lun duno go where eat dinner or chalet ah....

but.. wat i can say tat.... im really happy & glad we met each other up.. those times we had. will be in my mind.. if i forget.. which recently i got short term memory.. i think kana influence by TC liao.. -.-'''

at least i got this blog to remind me.. that at least we met up once again :)

oh yah.. i got 2 drinks, 1 lunch and 1 dinner FREE~!! complimentary from Ah su.. haha.. delete ugly photo need some trade de..... heeeee....

remeber wor..... hehhehehe....

Friday, October 07, 2005
9:33 AM

had a bad diarrhoea in the morning....

-.-'''

should be bad tuna i eat... >.<

*sigh*

money is e root of all evil.. confirm. 100%. evil. the one tat can makes oneself goes moody.down.depress.

*sigh*

Thursday, October 06, 2005
6:13 PM

Yesterday got to know my examination time table will be moving forward… hence 26,28 & 31st at least got 1 day interval rather than 3 days straight…

Also my attachment listing is out.. Geron, OT, ED, IMH & lastly PRCP..

Geron will be going for 2 weeks.. as usual back to my yr 1 ward.. forget how liao.. but nth much happening there…. Think gonna take case.. :)

OT & ED (emergency Department) will be for 1 week…

Hence.. my attachment end till 2nd Dec..

Following next year got IMH for 2 weeks. And lastly my final attachment – PRCP for 6 weeks..

Praying I got a nice ward with nice ppl..

Hahaha….

Yesterday test was er.. er.. I tink can manage to pass.. hopefully so ^^

But I know I had an enjoyable dinner yesterday ^^

Tuesday, October 04, 2005
7:28 PM

im praying with e max of mine.. that e sch DO NOT readjust year 3 timetable to.. 26th,27th and 28th.

3 days in a row..

i will forseen myself 3 days don't sleep.. at e brink of collapse.. and will cry...

Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt Do NoT Do NOt

due to some parents & students request of changing.. cuz is at eve of depavali & hari raya... sigh.. i understand.. they need preparation.. all these.. but.. for my opinion that to squeeze 3 papers together.. with esp. 1 module got 3 bks to study.. i dun think is a nice thing to do.. all cramp into ur brain...

*sigh*

i'm juz praying that the sch will just Remain e timetable as what it is.. i really hate to have 3 days clash together.....

u guys noe mah.. im those ling shi bao buddha's feet... haha. so hor.. no lah.. i dun want that to happen lah.. 3 days.. i tink buddha's leg also very tired to let me hug 3 days... muz rest le....

hence.. *im praying with all my might* *praying*

now have to focus more on my tmr test.. jiayou~! ^^

Saturday, October 01, 2005
7:39 PM




Just came back not long ago from Corpse Bride & lunch with Tc. haha.. hey is a nice movie :) humourous... if u can catch some of the jokes inside.. nice movie i muz say.. but too bad.. abit short.. awww....

some of e funny conversation are
"Why go up there when people are dying to get down here?"
and e corpse bride to victor's skeletar dog : wat a cutie
victor's reply: u should see him with fur...

haha... maybe it doesnt sound funny.. but the movie is nice to watch.. should go and watch it ^_^

before that while waiting to go into the cinema and watched e movie.. then.. one guy approached and pass me a rose.. haha.. dun tink of elsewhere.. was quite shock.. then realise is for the upcoming movie.. the Deuce Bigalow.. gd advertising..

then while watching e movie.. found e characters in e movie are so so so so cute...



u realise tat Blue kid skelton looks like Ghost Buster's tat "Mushmellow" aka e Tyre Logo.. the white white big big size.. it looks like e son sia!! hahaha... so cute!!!

got somemore characters.. u guys should juz go n watch it..


after the movie went to the food court have some drinks.. then while chatting half-way a woman walked towards me and sat beside me.. asking me where i get my henna from.. and etc etc.. hahah is shocking for me lah... cuz nv got such encounter before...

then she say "when woman come to this things.. cannot stop the temptation" haha... was laughing all e way.. maybe tat woman really likes henna.. but quite surprising mah..

should go catch Corpse Bride... ^^

Below is e song from Corpse Bride.. which i tink is nice.. esp the chorus part...

Oh those girls are ten a plenty,
You’ve got so much more
You’ve got, you’ve got
You’ve got a wonderful personality!
What does that wispy little brat have that you don’t have double?
She can’t hold a candle to the beauty of your smile.
How about a pulse?
Overrated by a mile!
Overvalued!
Overblown!
If he only knew the you that we know!
*sigh*
And that silly little creature isn’t wearing his ring!
And she doesn’t play piano,
Or dance
Or sing
No she doesn’t compare
But she still breathes air!
Who cares?
Unimportant
Overrated
Overblown
If only he could see how special you can be
If he only knew the you that we know!

Chorus : If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain
If you cut me with a knife it's still the same
And I know her heart is beating and I know that I am dead
Yet the pain here that I feel, try and tell me it's not real
And it seems that I still have a tear to shed

The sole redeeming feature from that little creature is that she’s alive
Overrated!
Overblown!
Everybody knows that that’s just a temporary state
Which is cured very quickly when we meet our fate

Who cares?
Unimportant
Overrated
Overblown
If only he could see how special you can be
If he only knew the you that we know!

Chorus: If I touch a burning candle I can feel no pain
In the ice or in the sun its all the same
Yet I feel my heart is aching
Though it doesn’t beat it's breaking
And the pain here that I feel
Try and tell me it's not real
I know that I am dead